Would you say that love is a core experience of your life?
Perhaps you can live that question. Would you say that love is difficult? Most of us know how much the heart aches when love is missing or neglected. The Bible says "Love is Patient, Love is Kind, counts no wrongs, and holds no grudges". Although I know few who have learned to love that well, it means that to heal a broken heart requires to grow one's capacity to love.
Some seemingly love too much, but are actually hampered in the difficulty of finding compassion for one's own suffering. If you were to follow me, I would first show you compassion for yourself. Far too many suffer terribly from hating themselves. You are important to love.
A hundred years ago the Austrian poet Rainer Maria Rilke gave advice to a young man on growing from what is difficult, particularly learning to love. "People have (with the help of conventions) solved everything toward the easiest side of easy; but it is clear that we have to hold ourselves toward the difficult; everything alive holds to it, everything in Nature grows and is its own being from within itself. Also to love is good, but love is difficult. Loving from human being to human being: it is perhaps the most difficult task entrusted to us, the ultimate, the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
A few years ago cardiologist Dean Ornish was the first to prove that heart disease could be reversed by change in lifestyle, and wrote a book "Love and Survival" on the scientific basis identifying love and intimacy as the greatest healing power that exists. "I am not aware of any other factor in medicine -- not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery -- that has a greater impact on our quality of life, incidence of illness, and premature death from all causes."
Children treated with a loving heart learn more and develop better. Would you say the same applies to adults and older people? My individual work with thousands of adults over thirty years has impressed on me the sensitivity and fragility of the human psyche, particularly the suffering caused by an impaired or undeveloped capacity to love one's own nature and being. Fortunately, it is now known that development does not stop after childhood and that the brain continues to develop lifelong, so that at any point in one's life a real opportunity exists to guide one's development into the future. The willingness to go for one's healing is the key to a loving heart.